Getting to the CORE

This is a picture of a sunset at my cottage.

I’ve used it as the lead-in to this blog post because the sun is about to set on one chapter of my life.

[I’m a poet and don’t even know it. Har har har.]

Now, some of you reading this may already know what’s going on…

Others, may not.

Either way, the goings on that I’m about to reveal have inspired my thinking over the last while and now, I’m at a point where I feel sharing these thoughts with you, my loyal subscribers, is prudent.

You see, I’m a firm believer in the idea of buying the person before the product or idea.

I use this in many different scenarios in my life.

For example, when I’m deciding which contractor to go with to do some work on my house.

I’ll ask questions that having nothing to do with the work, just to get a handle on what this person is all about.

If I feel the person’s got good character, I’ll choose them over others who may have a better price or a slicker presentation.

This is a change from what I used to do, which was always go for the best deal, but since the change, my outcomes have improved, so I’m going to continue with this approach.

Anyway, this is why I’m sharing what I’m about to share with you – so you can understand me as a person and where I’m coming from, because where I’m coming from is about to change.

Big time.

So here it is:

I’m going to be a DAD

spermYep, very soon, my wife will give birth to Baby Wong (gender unknown) and a totally new chapter of my life is about to begin.

We decided the time was right, not to mention the fact that we’ve got to respect the biological clock, so we decided to go for it and BLAMMO – egg fertilized.

My wife is due mid to late August, so there’s only a few short weeks until life as I know it will change for good.

Not much changed the first 4 months or so of the pregnancy…

However, since then, my perspective been shifting.

It’s probably due to the questions I’ve been asking myself like, “How can I be a good dad?” and “What are the most important things I can do to ensure my child has a good character?”

These questions have forced me to take a hard
look at my own approach to life and
I’ve 
come to some BIG realizations…

One is that I’ve always been a very individualistic dude.

That’s probably why I love MMA and martial arts so much.

It’s probably why I could only last working for someone else for 4 months before starting out on my own as an entrepreneur when I graduated from university.

It’s also probably a source of much of the conflict that’s happened over the years in my relationship with my wife (she always told me this, I just never listened).

But with Baby Wong on the way, my mindset has been shifting to being more other-centric.

Good thing, because raising a child while trying to live your own life is a recipe for failure.

I’ve also been taking a deeper look at how and why I do things in all areas of my life, one of which concerns you: what I put out into the world via my business.

Like I said, I’ve been a very individualistic guy and as such, I’ve basically run my business however I wanted and have done everything myself.

Whenever I’d catch wind of something that interested me, I’d do it.

While it’s been a fun ride and I’ve been able to help a lot of people change their lives for the better (based on feedback I’ve received), my ultimate goal has always been to serve myself before serving others.

Basically, I’ve been SELFISH.

It doesn’t mean I’ve been trying to screw you over (I haven’t), but I have to be honest and say that I have been looking out for myself first.

And while I think it’s important to follow the “oxygen-mask principle” (put your own oxygen mask on first when your plane is going down before trying to assist others), I’ve come to the realization that my business and what I put out to the world is not meant to serve me, but to serve YOU.

So I’m revamping my approach to my business and creating it based on how I think it’ll best serve YOU.

To do this, I’ve been working through a book called Traction by Gino Wickman, and one of the things that’s important to be clear on is the Purpose and Core Values from which my business operates.

It all goes back to character – these are the points that make up the character of my business and from which all decisions are made.

I’m making them known to you because I want you to make sure they resonate with you, as I feel that’s the way to a successful long-term relationship.

So here they are, the Purpose and Core Values from which my business (Mixed Martial Media Inc.) operates:

Our Purpose

To help martial artists get in top shape

Our Core Values

1. Deliver a Simplified Scientific Approach
2. Operate with Integrity (Stay True To Our Word)
3. Deliver Measurable Results
4. It’s a Team Effort
5. Have Fun

The next step in this process that Wickman teaches is to communicate exactly what these points mean in more depth.

That’s my plan for the next post, which I’d like to do via video so you can see how authentic all this really is.

But before then, I’d like to hear YOUR thoughts.

It’s taken a lot for me to share this and I’ve been as transparent as I can be because like I said, this is a new chapter in my life and I if you choose to continue this journey with me, I want you to know exactly where I’m coming from.

So what do you think about all of this?

Does it sound weird?

Does it sound exciting?

Does it make you think of doing something similar in your own life, whether it be to your business, how you operate at work, or how you operate in your life in general?

I’d love to hear your thoughts so please share them below.

Oh, and if you’ve got any prudent advice for a Dad-to-be, I’m all ears.

– E

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Jolie Davis

Its always a good idea to re-evaluate and re-calibrate at a time like this. And it’s important to be honest with yourself as well. Good for you Eric! The more you give out to others and look for ways to support people – it will come back to you. Probably in ways you least expect!! Nga mihi nui

David
David

Congrats Eric and wife. Advice: respond to every challenge lovingly, don’t have too many rules, take lots of pictures, treat your wife like the queen she is.

Travis Katski
Travis Katski

Congrats it’s the best and most rewarding part of life teaching our children

John Tariau
John Tariau

Congrats to you both, I applaud you and the direction you have chosen

hadil
hadil

Congrats to you and your wife.

Ian
Ian

Hey Eric-

Congrats on your new addition to the fam!

You’ve always seemed to have quite a bit of integrity w/ your products for starters, but I’m excited to see where you go from here…

Jdavila
Jdavila

Hey Eric, sorry this is so late but congrats bro. As for following you… i KNOW your programs work so you have my allegiance. As for becoming a dad, it’s not easy. You find yourself putting your own stuff on hold (joining a gym) for all that you want to give to your kid (private school). It can be very rewarding tho. If you’re a great role model for them, they’ll eventually follow in your footsteps. Can’t wait to see what you have in store. Oh yeah, one little bit of advice on baby Wong, if baby is sleeping… Do NOT stay as quiet as possible. Keep doing what you do, noise and all… It’ll save you from many sleepless nights and headaches;)

Eric

Hey man good to hear from ya – great advice I’ve heard that one a while back but forgot it and it makes so much sense.

I’ll be pumping music and vacuuming and stuff when the baby is snoozing so he/she sleeps like a rock. 🙂

Mirko
Mirko

Hey Eric,

congratulations to your and your wife. She gives you the biggest present what a man can get. I wish you, your wife and little baby Wong all the best and the most important thing => health.

Greetings from Germany

Mirko

Chris
Chris

Hi Eric,

Congratulations to you and your wife. Sending good vibes your way 🙂 I don’t have any kids of my own but I have been teaching for more than a decade and I have a few nephews and nieces, so I know a little bit about the joy that serving and caring for these little ones can bring into one’s life.

All the best to you, your wife and your baby 🙂

Looking forward to all the awesome stuff that you will share with us.

Chris

Jarrah
Jarrah

All i can say now is congraaats man for the fatherhood alot of responsibility ahead. 😉 all the best

Jarrah
Jarrah

All i can say now is congraaats man for the fatherhood alot of responsibility ahead. 😉 all the best bro

Neisha
Neisha

Congratulations on your new ventures and fatherhood. Goal setting is essential to success and identifying Core Values are an essential part of any business, so no your ideas are not “weird” they are “exciting”!

bender
bender

Congratulations!! I think your new approach is gonna be fantastic!

BruceV
BruceV

Hey man, congrats on the kiddo. I’ve been bad at posting on the forum in the dojo and have lurked a bunch but want to thank you for all the instruction I’ve gained from your programs and periodisation–you have offered unparalleled instruction at great value. Having your kid will no doubt bring a great new perspective, and change is the one thing that allows us to grow. All the best brother.

Paul Jones
Paul Jones

Eric, congratulations to you, your wife and family. I have 4 children, 3 girls and a boy. I got some advice from my Dad years ago, and it was “Live your life so that when your kids think of honesty, integrity and fairness, they think of you first”. You will get bucketloads of advice when the baby arrives, how best to hold the baby, best way to feed, sleep etc. Listen to all, then do what whatever works best for you, your wife and the baby.
All the best.

Marylin
Marylin

Congrats on becoming a dad! You are already starting on the right foot! This all sounds great and exciting. I have 3 girls (31, 29, 19) with 2 grandchildren. My best advise is spend as much time as you can with your son. Guide him and teach him as much as you can. That being said, always be a Parent first, friend second. Your child will always have friends but what children need are Parents. Pay attention to everything when it comes to your child especially the little things. You’d be surprised at what children remember and what bothers them. Also if your wife and you ever disagree on what your child can or cannot do, DO NOT argue about it or discuss it in front of your child. It tends to confuse and sometimes scare them. Like I said above, you’d be surprised at the things the children remember… Read more »

Judy miller
Judy miller

Hi
You are so right that your life is about to change! I have 4children of my own and I will say that they will challenge you to your very core and give you many opportunities to grow personally that you never would have dreamed possible . It will give you a new perspective on life! With that being said we have run a successful family business (organic dairy farm) and are about to expand into new territory and relate to what you are saying about clarifying who we are and our core values. It’s good to be reminded!
J.Miller

Pamela
Pamela

Great advice Marylin

Congrats Eric

Pam

Anthony gilormini
Anthony gilormini

Definitely brings more trust to you and your products. You were already one of the best when it came to trust and integrity in your service, so this is taking it another notch up!

ronyron
ronyron

hey,eric congrats on the baby my wife is 2 weeks over due and is going to be getting indused labor tomorrow. i to have bin very selfish i am 3-1 as a mma fighter and have dedicated years of my life to training but now i feel like im in the fight of my life good lick and god bless

RPB
RPB

God bless you and your family. Pax te cum.

Chris
Chris

Congrats! I’ve got 3 boys of my own (ages almost 7, 4 and just-turned 1), and I hope you get as much happiness from being a dad as I’ve gotten. Here’s a link to a Google doc my friend put together a few years back compiling all the advice he solicited on various topics – hopefully you’ll find it useful: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1naxOOhSA0-9YBWDovca6oAdGr66jXKuE5EhbWiZ1tDY/edit?usp=sharing

Cheers!

Eric

Hey Chris that’s awesome stuff man thanks for sharing!

Divij
Divij

Congratulations Eric. Good to see you’ve put some thought into this and seem to be excited about the new direction your life is taking. Good luck 🙂

Gage
Gage

To you Eric congratulations! and also to your wife and new baby Wong on the way. For I am sure Baby Wong will be happy to have loving parents like the two of you. What an awesome adventure in the next chapter of your life and with your forward mindset and integrity for development, not only for yourself, but for your family, your business and the people around you – achievement at higher levels can’t be for behind. As far as for children,I can tell you what I know – give them love,knowledge,protection,and teach them to stand on their own. Character develops from this and what they see from you….
Enjoy ! It’s going to be GREAT………

Kellog Sharp
Kellog Sharp

Congratulations. Kids positively change your life. I have seen repeatedly that a Purpose (Vision Statement) and Core Values (Goals) help keep any organization focused. If the task does not support it can be dropped. As solid as this foundation is, I would recommend periodic review to assist with staying on point. It has been a pleasure.

Jerry

Congrats on being a dad. Being a parent the toughest & most rewarding thing you will ever do. Don’t worry about being perfect, nobody is, & the job requires you learn as you go. Be patient with yourself & the child.

I like the up coming changes in the dojo.

Jeff
Jeff

Eric,
Congratulations !! Being a Dad is the greatest thing I ever did. Always remember family comes first, nobody lies on their deathbed saying “I wish I spent more time at the office”. I’ve made many sacrifices in my life, but not with my family. Married & together over 20 years with 2 straight A martial artists !!

Jason
Jason

Congrats! Having kids is a tough job, but it truly is one of the most rewarding! All the best!

Patrick
Patrick

Congrats to you and your wife. I can completely relate as I also had my own business when my wife got pregnant with our first child and despite doing all the night feedings etc and basically being a zombie for about 3 months the focus I gained from being a parent actually made that year by most successful ever. I could give you tons of parenting advice but for now the only thing I’ll say is emjoy every second of when your baby is born. Its one of the most amazing experiences you’ll ever have and the fitst time is extra special. I look forward to your new work, posts etc and wish you and your family the best of health and success 🙂

Neil Newson
Neil Newson

Congratulations Eric and to your wife.It doesnt sound weird and it does sound exciting this new chapterI in your life.You have always been about progression and integrity,long may it continue. All the best.

Bill

Congratulations Eric!
I too am a father of 4, all black belts, which lead us to the adventure of opening a family focused martial arts school. Our hope to you is that you find the benefits martial arts brings to the family, through shared experiences and improved communication. This next chapter will be as fulfilling as you make it. All the best!

Chris
Chris

Lol, if you think MA training is hard you haven’t seen nothing yet. And if its a girl all i can say is pray and meditate A LOT, lol

Eric

I’d be more scared for my girl’s future boyfriends LOL

Thomas Roberts
Thomas Roberts

Congratulations,Eric to both you and your wife. As a father of 4 wonderful kids (3 girls and 1 boy )I can honestly say you are in for one of life’s most rewarding adventures, There is nothing quite like it. But of the many you will learn as a father perhaps one of the most important I think would be that no matter what’s going on around you ,no matter how busy you may be always remember to stop and make time for your child as they sure grow fast. Children remember the one on one time and they remember it more than anything and then there adults they tell you that I know mine did warm my heart . As for your business side of things I look forward to keep learning from you ,you have a great way of putting the training program together that is not only easy… Read more »

Adrian Amaya
Adrian Amaya

Congratulations and thank you! Thank you for all that you’ve done, and thank you for sharing your story, and your genes. My wife and I are only a few weeks ahead of you (expected date was 7/17 but still no baby), and it’s reassuring to know other awesome people like yourself are choosing to reproduce as well. We’re also waiting to find out and we’re planning on doing a home birth. I don’t have much more experience with this than you at this point, but I use the same advice for just about everything a person could experience: Go in with a positive attitude and open mind, and everything will work itself out. The hardest part for me has been having to deal with other people’s horror stories and negative perceptions about home birth. Otherwise, I couldn’t be happier and I’m sure you feel the same. Though I will admit,… Read more »

jimmy garcia michel
jimmy garcia michel

Congratulations Eric you’ll be a great dad just like you are a trainer..thank you for all the knowledge you share with us.

Allan
Allan

First congrats 🙂 It’s always neat to hear about new life and growing families Awesome!!! I think what you are saying makes perfect sense. It’s nice to hear that there are people in today’s world who still think like that. I really look forward to everything I receive from you. I try to apply everything to my fitness so keep it coming. Also when that baby gets here brace yourself because it’s a heck of an awesome ride 😀

Jamie
Jamie

Fantastic news the best thing that will ever happen to you eric peace.

Jim
Jim

Seriously exciting news all round! Big congrats Eric and family.

Mel
Mel

Congrats to you and your wife!

It is refreshing to come across someone passoniate in the fitness industry not only about what they DO, but who they do it FOR. Your hip mobility program has worked wonders on my left side especially!

The fact that you take the time to send out such open emails adds a personal and individual touch that I both appreciate and respect. I wish you all the best in your nearing endeavours, and look forward to seeing what you bring to the table next! (:

Jay
Jay

Awesome news Eric my heart goes out to the three of you. There has always been a weird synchronicity between your blogs/input and my own life. I guess that will mostly be the same for all those who resonate with your character and energy. As a mother I welcome your awareness of the effect you will have on your child. The one thing I have learned that may support your endeavours here is to remember that your baby is aware of you and your thoughts and feelings at ALL times, even when or especially when it is asleep. By staying true to yourself at ALL times you can’t help but be true to your baby. Appreciate all your input. Enjoy.

Eric

Never heard about how your baby is aware of everything when they’re sleeping, too!

Thanks for sharing that, it’ll really help me be a more conscious parent.

Jim Ducroiset
Jim Ducroiset

Eric, congrats! Being a relatively new dad myself I can tell you that the changes in your life will just happen, embrace them, hang on tight and enjoy the ride.
you will find your perspectives change but you want them to, its really bizarre.
Take every moment you csn to spend with your young ok be, you will not regret it.
I really could not be happier for yoursellf and your wife.

Graham
Graham

First of all many congratulations to both of you. It is something special to be a parent and you are right it does make you review the way you do things. Most people would agree that we don’t think of you as being selfish, after all, you share your knowledge with us which helps us improve !!! Keep on keeping on Eric and enjoy being a dad.

Anders
Anders

You have been important to many of us out here. Helping us to keep fit and to have fun doing it.
Now you will really become important. Someone will really depend on you – for everything! Thats a new ballgame. Its wonderful, tiring and inspiring. Thank you for sharing.
Congatulations. Enjoy!

Michele
Michele

Congratulations to both you and your wife! There is nothing on earth that made me pick up my head, and pay attention to what is important in life, like having children. Personal accountability suddenly has a whole new meaning. From now on you don’t get to talk the talk. Now you will have to walk the walk. There’s one thing your children know and that’s you. If you want your children to be the kind of people who you are proud of, then you must exemplify the behaviors yourself. Otherwise,it undermines their understanding of who it is that you want them to becomes. Don’t ever change your individualism. That’s what sets you apart and it’s my belief that the greats become great because they don’t follow the beaten path. They aren’t afraid to try unconventional things and to go above and beyond what the average person does, in order to… Read more »

Eric

Thanks for sharing those wise words Michele, individualism is definitely still a part of my life, however, creating and being a part of a team is going to be a bigger part.

Dave C

Congratulations on the baby, Eric. I think your personal evaluation is timely, courageous, demonstrates integrity, and will lead you down new paths that will be more rewarding and profitable. I totally support your decision and efforts to improve your life and business because the values you shared are the same values that I strive to live by. However, like Ben pointed out, the list must be prioritized in reverse order to have the greatest positive impact on your life and the lives of others. I wish you much success and happiness as you embark on this new chapter in your life.

Anne
Anne

Congratulations to you and your wife Eric. It is a joy to hear their laughter in the house. Great new chapter to start in your life.

David Mata
David Mata

First of all, congratulations on having a baby and taking the next big step in your relationship. That said i suggest you invest in a rocking chair and catch sleep when you can. Unless you baby sleeps through the night. I also like the approach you have your business and cannot wait to see what the future holds with the baby and with the business. As for advice, my judo coach told our class one day “You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can control how you react to it”

Eric

That is definitely some great advice from your Judo coach David…

Mike Whitfield
Mike Whitfield

I couldn’t be any more excited for you brother!

I have no advice on the Dad thing except… just brace yourself for the most awesome experience in your life. You’re going to LOVE it.

Mikey

AM
AM

Sincerity and Integrity are two values that cannot be learned, Eric has both.

Eric

Thank you kind sir. Still LOL whenever I see this avatar!

Kevin
Kevin

Eric,
Congratulations! I’m working with my firstborn on choosing and applying to colleges. I remember how scared I was when we first got pregnant: How can I lead someone else through life when I’ve barely figured out my own?

Relax. Breathe. Two requests that martial artists have heard at least a million times. (I would add Pray too, but your mileage may vary) You’ve got everything you need to be a great dad. If you take as good care of your wife and children as you do with your fighters and the rest of us, you will likely get a piece of ceramic with #1 Dad on it sometime in your life.

Enjoy!

Eric

Hahaha that picture of the ceramic with #1 Dad warms my heart, thanks for that Kevin!

Kevin
Kevin

I was looking at one when I wrote that! 🙂

Rico
Rico

First of all, congrats on the upcoming child, being a father of two, i dont have to tell you the ‘joyful anxiety’ that comes with the expecting moments. All in all it’s all worth it.

Reading on how you feel about ‘changes’ and shifting through the way you do business, i’d guess that you probably also had ‘cravings’ mirroring wife, I know I did, these kind of things do affect a man, whether we realize or not, after all, your wife is your soulmate.

So keep on going strong brotha, your business is becoming more mature and shall expand its horizons by serving its customers as a core principle, and that really takes a big heart to move on to that level. Salute!

Eric

My wife hasn’t had many cravings and I haven’t had any either, so maybe I am mirroring her. 🙂

Hahn
Hahn

I’ve used your programs for a couple of years now and my results have been great. I’ve also introduced them to a couple of friends and 3 teenagers that I’m trying to help and their results have been just as good if not better. I’m excited to see what kind of results we can expect from your new material. Btw’s congrats on becoming a dad.

Eric

Awesome stuff Hahn, I love hearing people share the knowledge they’ve gained from me to help others.

CK
CK

Congratulations, Eric, and welcome to The Dad Club. You’re 100% right about the fact your life is no longer about you (and will never be again). It’s humbling, awe-inspiring, joy-producing . . . and it really fucking sucks some of the time. But it is what it is and if you’re carrying any doubts, they’ll be blown away when you hold your baby for the first time. You’ve never loved anything as much as you’ll love your kids; at that level, it’s amazing. I don’t know what kind of childbirth you’re planning, but if you’re doing a natural birth (or something similar), you’ll realize that childbirth is humanity’s greatest athletic feat. It’s jaw-dropping how hard they work. My wife finished the last 3-4 hours of her labor in a sumo squat. Damn. I want to cry after a 1-min wall-squat. (As a sports science guy, check out the literature on… Read more »

Eric

We attended a pre-natal class and if that was any indication of what’s about to come, good thing my wife could Squat and Deadlift more than her bodyweight for reps LOL!

I’ve been reading some stuff about the hormonal changes and it is pretty crazy what goes on and how once you understand it, you can see how it all works together towards a certain outcome.

And good advice on the posterior chain – I just tested mine out with some heavy deads and after not Deadlifting for most of 2014, I pulled 315 lbs pretty smoothly, so I think I’m ready in that department. 🙂