How to Boost Your CONFIDENCE

con-fi-dence: belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities

Grade 9 was not a confident year for me…

It was my first year at a new high school where it seemed like everyone knew everyone else because I didn’t come from one of the typical feeder schools and because I skipped Grade 7 and thus didn’t have as many friends from my old elementary school.

And being 1 of about 5 Chinese kids in a school of 1,000+ didn’t help, either, because, you know, kids can be idiots (and they were).

Grade 10 got better, because I made some new friends but I remember one day, I was walking beside a mirror and I caught a glimpse of myself and noticed how bad my posture was.

My shoulders were slouched forward, my head was down as if I was looking at my feet and I just looked weak.

I didn’t like what I saw, but just kept walking…

Later that year, my brother introduced me to weight training.

I was playing competitive hockey and needed to get bigger and stronger, as I was getting thrown around on the ice.

So, my brother Ty gave me a bench press and barbell set for Christmas and helped me start training.

I didn’t know much but jumped into it with enthusiasm.

My workout consisted of Bench Press, Bicep Curls and Skull Crushers (lol) and I performed this workout 3 days a week.

As most beginners to weight training, I quickly put on some size and gained strength and it was even noticed by a couple of girls at school.

This felt awesome.

But the biggest benefit I got was the boost in confidence I got, which wasn’t necessarily from the increased attention, but more from the fact that I committed to something, saw it through, then experienced results.

This is where TRUE confidence comes from.

Sure, you can repeat affirmations and say “I’m confident! I’m confident!” all day, but if you don’t actually do anything to better yourself, you’re simply lying to yourself.

Confidence comes from capability and capability comes from learning + application.

This is the PROCESS to confidence.

Once you have the capability, then it’s time to add things like affirmations, visualization and mental tricks (which we’ll discuss in a future article), otherwise they have nothing behind them and your unconscious will know you’re full of it.

So if you want to be confident, develop new capabilities.

The best part is that it doesn’t matter what area of life they’re in, whether it’s fitness, business or love.

Because by experiencing this PROCESS at work, you’ll discover that it applies to anything you want, which instantly boost your confidence.

Did reading this boost your confidence?

I hope so, but if it didn’t, don’t worry, just pick some capability you want to gain, follow the process and you’ll get it. I know you will.


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JeffAnthonyJdavilaSarah Lopezsam long Recent comment authors
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Thank you Eric, I liked this so much I talked to my kids jiu-jitsu class about the great article you wrote!


Previous posts have covered all my thoughts on this post. Now I look forward to your posts.


Ditto to what everyone else said but also, I like that your posts aren’t all the same. The overly hyped and typically similar “The hands down top 5 (stretches, excercises, lifts, moves etc.) for fighters” headlines. That gets annoying after a while…so I rid myself of the unessential. Unsubscribe unsubscribe unsubscribe… Thanks for not being so cliche.

Sarah Lopez
Sarah Lopez


sam long
sam long

hey eric, i was encouraged to retire about 2 years ago. i normally am an organized, disciplined person; however, i am finding it hard to fill my days. i have joined a gym..don’t go, having a hard time committing to it. part of me thinks i am on the downward slide as i am 65 and about 60# over weight. so what’s the point? have a husband but no real friends. yikes, this sounds like i am a basket case and whining like a 2 yr old.
sorry. thanks for listening.

Floyd Young
Floyd Young

Love all of your posts. Always something new, relevant and inspiring.


Eric, this is really a good article! I played American football in high school and at college. I did weight lifting periodically from when I was 19 years of age. I have also been like a slug )) – sometimes for years at a time. For the last few years I have again been doing weight training and jogging. In one week I will be 73 years of age. I can say that I agree with this article because when I am doing something positive – and especially physically – I feel like I am 40 years young and strong and I know I look good! The younger ladies and even the young Oregon college girls still look at me! )))

Brenda S.
Brenda S.

Thank you for you insight. As an adult I am learning more about where true confidence comes from and you articulated it very nicely. It takes action to be confident. It’s a choice. I will pass this post on to my high school age boys. Thank you!


You are on target,again, Eric. I’d add that a big boost comes when someone recognizes your self confidence by rewarding you with ‘the job’ or promotion or selecting you for the team!
(just smiled ;-] and hope you won’t be offended, should have been “subconcious” ‘under or below’ not “unconcious” ‘without’ ! Hope the Fighter in you realizes the difference!

Ray Bz
Ray Bz

The longest journey starts with the first step. Great advice Eric !

Erick Hahn
Erick Hahn

Eric, I can really indentify with the article you wrote. I had an almost identical experience beginning high school and unfortunately it had such a negative effect I still resent my experience in high school to this day. I didn’t recover until I went to college.
Anyway, thanks for sharing that with me, I had never looked at gaining confidence from the perspective of gaining capability. Erick Hahn. one of your subscribers